The more that we explore dreams the more we have this desire to find a way to get control of them. This is something that can take time and the ones who have been experiencing lucid dreams for many years are usually the ones who can really control them, even if most don't even know they do.
The reason we usually lose control of our dreams is because we start thinking too much once we realize we are lucid dreaming and this naturally allows our ego— and excitement— to creep in. If you're in a dream and then start really focusing on your surroundings, or maybe you notice that things are placed wrong, it can usually lead to you waking up. It is important to really ground yourself in a lucid dream if you want to continue to remain in it.
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There are three specific ways that we can learn to control our dreams:
Usually, when we first start to lucid dream we get surprised and therefore this feeling wakes ourselves up. This is normal, but over time it can become quite frustrating. It is best to try to focus on the dream itself and what is around you to stay within in. Remaining calm is very challenging as it is your subconsciousness that is mainly in control of the dream. But the more you practice this technique, the better you'll be at it so try not to get too frustrated if your realization within the dream wakes you. Eventually, you will remain relaxed within the dream.
Remind yourself that you're dreaming
This is really important. When you are dreaming you want to make sure you keep reminding yourself of that. When you do this, it creates more depth to the dream so that you can continue to explore the realm that you're in. This needs to be done regularly throughout your experiences of a lucid dream so when you see a new person or appear in a new place remind yourself, 'I am dreaming'.
Before you sleep, it is important to set the intention of what you will do. For example, you can put intention to see a certain person or go to a certain place, keeping your focus on these things as you fall asleep. This will help to make sure the dream is very vivid and therefore allows you to have the opportunity to get involved. It can also help you when you are starting out to lucid dream because it acts as a setting point. You can tell yourself that when you see that person you will know that you are lucid dreaming. You can also put intentions using your emotions, which has been really powerful for many people to trigger and keep themselves within the lucid dream. You can again focus to see a certain person to tell them you love them and lead with that emotion or you can choose to see someone you wish to apologize to, as the remorse has the same effect.
Lucid dreaming is so wonderful once you get the hang of it, but many people get discouraged because of its irregularities, especially if they go through all the stages of setting themselves up to dream and nothing happens and it can become such a big effort with no results, but if you can persevere and use these techniques then it can help to keep you in the dream. Have patience and trust that you will get the hang of it and find which techniques that work best for you.
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